Clearing head ....

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
~Ashley Smith

For those who frequent my blog, you know that I run. It is my time. It is when I do most of my thinking. No kids to bother me; no wife to nag; no residents to teach. It is me, the road, and my Ipod. Over the past months, I have been plagued with injuries and have not been able to devote much time to running. This last month I have been able to increase my mileage without incurring any injuries. Today, I had one of my better mid distance runs. It was phenomenal. Why, you may ask? There is a point you reach while running when it becomes like a trance. The head clears. The legs move effortlessly. This is when I have my best thoughts and ideas. Today was one of those days.

REFLECTION
I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole, defeated I
Concede and (Concede and) move closer (Move closer),
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness, how pitiful

It's calling me (Calling me)
It's calling me (Calling me)
It's calling me (Calling me)
It's calling me

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weepin'
The moon tells me a secret, my confidant
As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me

It's source is bright and endless, she resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites dreamin' dreams
And as I pull my head out, I am without one doubt,
don't want to be down here soothing my narcissism, I
Must crucify the ego before it's far too late,
I pray the light lifts me out

Before I pine away
Before I pine away (Pine away)
Before I pine away (Pine away)
Before I pine away (Pine away)

So crucify the ego before it's far too late to leave behind this place,
so negative and blind and cynical
And you will come to find that we are all one mind,
capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable
Just let the light touch you and let the words spill through,
just let them pass right through, bringin' out our hope and reason

Before we pine away (Pine away)
Before we pine away (Pine away)
Before we pine away (Pine away)
Before we pine away

Over my last 2 of 7 miles, I listened to a great Tool song off of Lateralis called Reflection. For those who are unfamiliar with Tool, there is much more to the music than meets the ear. It is poetry. It is a mathematical problem being solved; it is geometric. This is a wonderfully long song and perfect for running. The instrumental potion is increasingly intense with the ebb and flow of drums, base and guitar. The voice of Maynard placed slowly into the mix. It gets increasingly emotional. The emotion rising and falling like increasingly excited breath. It climaxes at the end with all of the instruments and vocals coming together to complete the emotional experience.

How does this relate to anything? This was like a reset for me. It helped me to recenter. I think we all need a reset button. We all need something that reminds us why we are here, to redirect a lost focus. Every morning I run. In the rain or snow, hot or cold, I put my shoes on and run. Why, because it centers me. It helps me to balance the trials of the days. It is my time. The practice of medicine can wear any of us down. We all need something to rejuvenate us. I have been rejuvenated. I plead to you to find what will center you, rejuvenate you. Don’t let medicine consume you.

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

~James Dean